home

didnt sleep. apparently, i was now sleeping next to the highway. somehow, the stupid narrow italian street where pedestrians have to flatten themselves against the wall when a car passes by, turned into rush hour traffic.. after midnight. so much noise, there is honking and motors, and scooters, and bikes, so sleep is out of the question. finally died down around 4 am, but i have to get up in like half hour. screw it, i'm up. train isnt for another hour, so i am enjoying my cappuccino in the company of all men. train ride is uneventful (and on time!). check in. anotehr cappuccino. waste left over currency at the duty free (i wonder how much chocolate one can buy without looking suspicious?) fell asleep on super-short flight to duesseldorf (after another cup of coffee) next to the guy who was super confused about my origin, since i spoke german with the flight attendant, but read a perfectly english book. by the time we land, i need to board. there is a line at the passport control. crap. think about cutting the line, but, of course, they wheel 2 people in wheelchairs in front of me to jump the line. i can't get mad at handicapped people! finally get through. on the plane, sitting next to teh cutest little old german lady, who unfortunately smells like a little old lady (:( ) and needs help explaining everything about her seat. i'm singled out for my special meal. this lunch, i swear, was created by some creative artistic type because it's all orange. pickled potato/yellow pepper salad, slabs of polenta on top of yellow pepper/yellow zucchini something. it's gross, but looks bright :). while i napped my chemical induced nap, the little old lady got my immigration form: "i didnt know what language to get it in for you, so i just got you english." precious! i'm having mixed feelings. i'm ready to be home, shower and sleep in my own bed, maybe do some laundry. but this also means the end of fun and i'm freaking out. i dont want to go to work!! i dont want to fill out paperwork in preparation or pick out the kind of insurance i want! it's too real! i dont want to be responsible. i dont want to be a doctor! can't i just stay on the beach? the american security line is super long. the lady stamping my passport, for reasons of security i'm sure, asks me what i do in chicago. 'i'm a doctor' 'waht kind?" "ob/gyn?' was that really necessary? couldnt we have talked about something else to determine i am not a threat? get me back on the plane!

last day

the alarm went off @ 7. was supposed to go off @ 8 but my phone, for some reason, decided to be on greek time and went off an hour early. boo! aggie is still drunk, eva cant find her shoes (because they are in teh tv cabinet :)) time for the boat. this turns out to be a steam boat, like full out mississippi style, which i found out when it started spewing smoke and making crazy steamboat noises right over my head. startling!
while on the boat, a group of 3 italian teen boys with accordion, wooden clappy thing, and a tirolian hat appeared accompanied by men of various ages. the group prceeded to sing italian, which made me confused: are they part of teh boat? are they looking for money? is this a sunday afternoon boy scout activity?
the boat ride took an hour of picturesque scenery of colorful villages on hills, clear water reflecting the sun with luscious green hills towering over. we docked in a small village which was..on top of a mountain. damn mountains!!up we go, on jagged stones to the only restaurant in teh village for pizza (god, no more pizza, please) heading back down, ila fails to lead correclt ynad we take a wrong turn, have to double back up the hill and almost miss the boat. on the boat ride back, waved to george :)
chilled in the park watching sunbathers..and maybe commenting on certain inappropriate usage of banana-hammocks. then chilled osme more with laptop and sex and the city (mm..sex and the city). dinner iwth newlyweds :) followed by stroll through teh city with marco as tour-guide. not bad! i gotta get up early so i'm off to bed. this has been a ton of fun :)

ila englof gets married!!

wedding day. first problem: i've been practically barefoot for the past week. so stuffing my swollen feet into expensive stilettos--no good. turns out wherever we go that day ends up being either gravel or grass..really no good!
we are bussed to a city villa where in the back, in a stone gazebo, the mayor of como, sporting a tricolor italian sash, is going to marry ila and marco. the mayor happens to be a very handsome gentleman--definitely wouldnt mind getting some gelatto with him. ila's dress is gorgeous (and valentino!) and her hair and makeup (courtesy of eva and jane) look great. what a beautiful bride! the mayor reads a bunch of stuff in italian (no idea what ila just agreed to. 17 kids? ceremonial ritual orgies?), they sign the certificate, exchange rings and are married! not going to lie, was holding back tears :)
off to reception, in a bus, up a steep hill, one lane road wiht rock on one side and cliff on the other. the view at the villa is amazing. when i say villa, i mean like real 19th century nobility with time appropriate furniture art and dishes. start out with a spread of appetizers adn prosecco. it's 2pm :). then off to higher level to actual tables, where the epic 17.5 course dinner begins. not really 17, but it felt like it, supplemented by unlimited wine. props to the caterers for making sure i get a veggie plate for all the courses. it was surprising to see what they were going to bring out each time, wondering what else can they possibly do to a zucchini.
marco's friends--fashionable italian men--displayed an array of fitted designer suits. some were of different colors adn everyone was surprised that tehre was only one red suit :(
carla's speech made everyone cry (stupid carla!) in between courses we'd wander off to walk around the villa. guess what i found? turtles!! so of course, i had to climb down the stone wall, fancy dress and shoes, into the pen where they were hiding/napping. everyone kept yelling to a)get out of turtle pen, b) leave turtles alone. "salmonella, alex, salmonella!!"
inter-milan was playing bayern in teh champions league. not a fan of bayern, ordinarily, but i had to cheer for the german team. so i periodically had to run inside, where the owners of the villa set up a tv just for this, to check the score. after it got dark we sat around a small table just chatting. being on gravel, the chair (or me) tipped and i fell, on my ass, in a dress. very graceful. i also owe ila and marco many hours of babysitting their future children. carla blew up their save-teh-date into a poster to have everyone sign it. the worst idea was to pass this around after hours of drinking and in the dark. i signed htis thing half in the air, in my bestest doctor squiggle. not only do i not know what i wrote, but staring at it, i was unable to discern a single letter. :( sorry guys for ruining your memories.
the bus ride back to como turned into a sing-along to carla;s dying ipod speakers. milan won and como exploded into crowds of cheering, yelling, celebrating black and blue. instantaneously, i'm back in florence when during world cup germany lost to italy and faield to advance to the finals and i was sad in teh city of italian happiness. the wedding party continued to a bar and i, slightly drunk, slightly pissed, had no desire to navigate the crowd in a fancy dress. so i pulled a staci and peaced out. good night.

"but i dont want to cimb a mountain"

first day in como. wake up early to explore teh city. go inside the duomo--it's really pretty. probably makes it to the top of the most beautiful domes list. wander around. meet ila and go shopping in this obscene traveling large touristy clusterfuck. lunch and off to ride the funicular up the mountain. there is a lighthouse on top and it's an 'easy' 10 min walk, 'no hiking shoes needed'. incorrect! suddenly, i am being coaxed into hiking up a mountain, up jagged rocks in sandals and a skirt. not cool! the view at the top is great--this is where marco proposed--and being on top of a mountain overlooking como, i can see why ila said yes :)
i am in carb hell. it appears italians consume nothing but refined carbohydrates (and occasional prosciutto). i hardly ever eat carb, unless it's in sugar form. portions are huge and i just want to chew on some lettuce!!
italian men stare and by that i mean at boobs. i thought this would be a problem in greece, but i guess santorinians are used to seeing girls in bikinis all the time. here, everyone possessing a Y chromosome between the ages of 7 and 70 has their eyes automatically locked on cleavage or general T4 (dermatome) zone. it's almost comical.
we're battling a battle with our cleaning lady. apparently, she likes to hide things. i came back one day after she cleaned thinking i've misplaced my shoes. i found them..in the cabinet under the tv. why? the toothbrushes were deposited into a cup..full of water. i didnt realize toothbrushes were like plants and needed to be kept hydrated. aggie's shopping bag was hung in the closet...on a hanger. the whole bag. weird.

como? to como!

flight to como left at 6:55am, cab pick up was at 5:30, which is normal work waking time. i was definitely dragging. man, i am going to be so screwed in 3 weeks!! huge line at the tiny airport. the airlines people (greeks!) are slow and no one is moving..at all. flight is delayed, but somehow we end up arriving half an hour early (this is like seinfeld: "if they know they can go faster, why dont they always fly this fast?!!") practically no layover. the security is a joke. i had to ask the guy if he actually wanted me to remove my liquids baggy, "sure, why not?!"could have walked right through--liquids, shoes, and belts. somehow, i am stuck in the middle between carla and an italian gentleman frantically typing away on his laptop. the this is, the plane is not full adn the gentleman could have been frantically typing away in the aisle next to some unsuspecting dude napping at the window. but no, alex is small and can be put in teh middle!! i eventually extricated myself from under the food tray, from between (sleeping) carla and typing man and moved to another seat.
saw some ladies getting off the plane in 3 inch stilettos, pantyhose, and miniskirts. ok, i get it, you're italian, that's what you wear, but why subject yourself to uncomfortable 3 hours of uncomfortable pantyhose sitting is beyond me. meanwhile, arriving in como, i already feel underdressed. i've hardly worn anything but a swimsuit for the last 6 days, but suddenly find myself lacking accessories to look as fabulous.
como is beautiful! old streets, great green hills, quiet lake. i'm back in my little europe spot. had gelatto for lunch and will likely subside on it for the rest of the trip. the cute little old italian man owning the hotel doesnt speak english and communicates primarily by gestures, while taking puffs from cigarette left outside the door under the giant "no smoking!" sign. italian maps are crap, i forgot! went out to find internet and water. following specific detailed visual instructions to the post office from map acquired from little old man and was nowhere in its vicinity. ended up stumbling upon it, accidentally, while taking a stroll. it was closed. the sign said open from 9-6:30. it was 5. then, walked into a grocery store and almost had a tiny little orgasm as i salivated over the spread of cheeses. on teh way home found doener!! made me so happy
oh, almost forgot! when changing trains on the way from milan to como, i am getting off at the platform right in front of an overweight dude in his 20s in a blue sweatsuit of some sort. the guy is staring directly at me while rubbing his penis in a circular motion. just great! so i start walking off the platform to go and see what platform we need to be on for the next train and i turn around to look for carla to ask if she just saw what i saw only to see that the dude is following us, hand on crotch. WTF? we reach the screen with platform numbers and carla catches up so i ask if she saw it too, she goes no, but did i notice that this same dude was making a moany/smacking noise at her? the dude is standing, literally, 20 feet away, staring, rubbing. ummm...we doa fake 'go on platform' but linger, the guy walks up the platform we're supposed to be going, we wait 3 minutes, go up to find him on a different platform behind us, staring, rubbing..welcome to italy!

grease? greece

so now that i've left the island of santorini, a few words about it. it used to be a volcano, actually, correction--it still is a volcano and the island, which is quite large was part of some eruption that created it. the black beach of Perissa, where we stayed, is black because of lava (or to quote dr. evil, "hot magma!") it is also believed to be the Atlantis. not sure how that works since Atlantis sunk and santorini is perfectyl above ground, but i think, maybe, the civilization used to exist and went under and santorini was created in its place???
we stayed at a hostel booked by carla (yes hostel because it is full of 20 somethings taking a vacation after studying abroad in Italy (cause where else would you study?), Aussies traveling the world because that's what Aussies do, and an occasional 'real' adult on a long sabbatical who is sort of questionably weird but really totally benign. the hostel is 3 steps from teh beach, came equipped with a pool, free internet, and a bar...and friendly neighborhood bartenders with amazing eyes :). the rooms had private showers, although when i say shower, i mean faucet and showerhead that you hold in a designated corner of the bathroom watering yourself like an elephant in teh zoo, while maneuvering as to avoid getting the daily supply of toilet paper wet. speaking of toilet paper: you cannot flush it in santorini. it is, rather, deposited in a basket. this was hard, not just because it's sort of borderline gross but because you inevitably end up forgetting and just flush it anyways. totally do not get why the santorini plumbing can handle feces but not paper.
every morning we would wlak to the main road in town to visit the bakery. the baker who ran this place 24 hours learned to bake from his father. the most amazing smells came out of this palce. and whatever you purchased, you were gifted a sesame breadstick..mmmm...
everybody seems to know everybody. the island is small adn operates on tourism so getting on a bus or getting a taxi--someone just calls someone and then we stop on the road to chat because you always seem to run into a cousin or an uncle-in-law.
because of constant sun exposure, my hypothalamus is totally off. i'm radiating heat adn at the same time constantly chilly, breaking out into involuntary shivers like a newly developed tic disorder or a bad tweaking meth overdose. it's sort of embarrassing. despite that, and the fact that i've eaten a considerable share of greek salad to last me a good while, this was great. the island is beautiful, there is so much to do--it's definitely going on the list of places where, when i'm older and have scored my sugar daddy, i could purchase some lovely property to watch the sunset and sip local wine.

beachm, winery, sunset

spent the day at the beach. was super cloudy at first. ironically, all i wanted for the past 3 days was for the wind to stop blowing and yet today, when it needed to blow the stupid cloud out of the way, there was no wind. eventually it got better and i worked on my tan for the last time. i am now a shade darker and a step closer to both premature aging and melanoma. yes!!
afterwards, we were off to wine tasting adn watching the sunset. this is absolutely the place for me: wine and cheese and olives. could sort of just stay there forever. the sunset, of course, was beautiful: magnificent pinks adn purples setting over the islands and the deep blue sea. sigh.
so funny thing. while at the winery, i went to the bathroom, of course, my kid bladder. i made very certain to read the label on the door, ascertaining that i walked into 'women'. imagine my surprise when i saw a tiny little old man (the geriatric bus must have just pulled in) washing his hands in the sink. he had his cane up on the sink/counter and had his back turned to me, drying his hands, so after thinking for a sec, i just went into the stall. he left unknowing of his own mistake.

volcano and sunset

so lawnmower was fun. almost died in the wind. but came out unscathed, although shivering. so today we went to climb the volcano. so first we took a bus to fira, the capital. however, this bus is not like a regular city bus, it;s a coach charter bus. we walked around fira mostly being accosted by shop owners wanting me to buy jewelry. at some point this asian lady (she had an accent, so i literally was able to understand half the stuff she said) told me i needed to buy something because she wanted to make me happy and she knew i was going to go away and come back with a man to buy me something because she just wanted to make me happy. then, there was a giant stairwalk, made out of cobblestone and marble that we walked down to get to the port. the only problem is that for like 5 Euro you can have a donkey take you down. so the whole thing is lined with chained donkeys, the whole strip is covered in tdonkey poo and pee and i'm walking down. me and teh donkeys had a deal: whenever i was passing them, they had to keep their tails down. everyone let's concentrate. after i almost slipped to my poopy perish, it was really scary. so getting to the port, peed in the worst bathroom ever, rivaling tajikistan gross: no toilet paper, unflushed toilet, awesomeness. we got on the boat which looked like a pirate boat, seriously, i even hung on the....bars? the things that keep the sails up!! the boat took us to the volcano, which literally is an island full of rocks and i climbed all teh way up. the tape warning us about the island that played on teh boat got stuck. so 'the walk takes 1200 meters and will take you 20 to 25 min" 20 times. awesome. i feared i was going to go down the volcano on my ass, but, alas, i survived intact. the guy off the boat let us on into the volcano for free, but apparently that meant he was going to inappropriately touch carla instead, she took one for the team, good girl!! i stayed out of the sulfur hot srpings mainly because you had to swim through actual sea and it was cold. but then coming back to the port, somehow, i got the idea that i dont like donkeys and would rather just walk up teh stairs, up again. oh lord! i havent worked out in a while and the walk up, amidst poo and pee, and actively pooping donkeys was intense (i have pics, i swear) then we drove up to oia (the northern-most point on the island where there is a great sunset view). dinner at the restaurant, great sunset. the tops of my ears are currently burning. i think there are sunburned.

lawnmowers and wind

so i drove a lawnmower today. well, not really, but the little ATV (the proper name) looks and feels like a lawnmower. was a bit scared, not going to lie, at first, but the thing was actually really cool to drive. goes about 50 km/h tops (whatever that means) and we literally drove around the whole island, exploring things and taking lots fo pics (to be posted soon). the only thing, it was super windy, like tornado like winds and i was freezing. at some point we got to the top of the mountain and i literally sat on the stupid thing, shivering. couldn't get off, partially due to cold, partially due to fear of being blown off. navigating the tiny little streets and crazy turns and super ridiculous hills, well, i thought hte little buddy was not going to make it a couple of turns, but it all worked out in teh end.
steve the bartender is kicking me off, i'll continue tomorrow.

let's go out tonight!!

ok, so seriously, it took me about half an hour to figure out how to log onto my own blog. oy! i suck at this. carla and aggie got massages at the beach. the beaches are swarmed with thai ladies ofering thai massages, much like you would find in thailand. but i geuss the beaches of phuket are too much competition, so now they're here. there is also a dude of uncertain ethnic origin, maybe greek, but maybe something more exotic, like bulgarian or croatian, who offers pretty cheap massages. i totally contemplated, but then got to watch carla being slathered in baby oil and worked on by this dude. he looked totally professional. but tehre is something indistinctly weird about a sweaty tan, slightly smelly man in a sun hat pulling and kneading muscles. especially when one is on exposed on the beach, in a bikini which he also pulls out of the way to expose butt cheeks and partial boob for muscle kneading purposes.
last night, as we were expecting the fourth and last of our party to arrive we decide to just hang out at the hotel bar. now, i should properly call this place a hostel, really, as it is overrun by college kids studying abroad and taking a vacay, aussies (cause that's what aussies do--travel), and random backpacking canadians. yes there is the occasional token asian group and some real time adults vacationing as couples. but really, it's a hostel. so hanging out at the bar and consuming ridiculously cheap greek beer (with authentic greek mythical names), turns out the bartenders (who are now buddies) are going out afterwards. after some consideration we agree to join (carla really wanted to go, aggie and i--not so much) suddenly, the bartender walks in and goes 'your friend's flight is canceled' no believing him, i get up to go check the airlines on the computer. now, there is a reason why bars in pools should not be next to pools. the bar is teaming now with 16 year olds (not literally, but you know) taking shots and drinking up a storm. as i try to pass the crowd to get around them to get to the computers, i take a step thinking it's the floor and.....fall into the pool. not like completely in, more like one leg giant step. i am rescued by some american guy who is dressed like an abercrombie catalog page and smells strangely like the combination of abercrombie store and a bit of b.o. but for the rest of the night half of my butt is soaked. the ironic part is that out of all people to fall in it was me, not some drunk teeny bopper girl :(. nice move, doctor, nice move. we ended up not going out. actually, we took a crazy cab into the city (thira, the capital of santorini) but couldnt find anyone from the hostel group. it was super windy and i was freezing (partially due to wetness). so took another cab ride home. oh well!

der flug fliegt gleich ab!

so the best part about the flight over, besides the free booze, was the fact that my flight attendant decided to speak german to me, the whole time. so happy. also got to speak german in the duesseldorf airport while waiting for connecting flight to athens. had an interesting conversation with the passport control guy who complained that there was no room in my passport. sorry, i know, my passport is obese. had about 40 minutes to pick up luggage get onto flight to santorini and totally got lost in the airport. apparently, the greeks have an interesting way of labeling gates. so there are arrows pointing to the numbered gate but it's all confusing and the arrows change suddenly without warning. almost missed my flight. but i make it and the plane we're taking has a propeller, not a turbine inside a tube, but an actual outside propeller. well two, really, but i panic for a split second. i am seated next to an obese loud american lady, who deosnt fit into her seat. her panus ends up spilling both on top and bottom of the armrest. now, i dont take too much space so whatever, i dont care, but when i realize i need to duck everytime she raises her hand for fear of being elbowed in the eyeball, i'm peaved. suddenly the captain gets onto the loudspeaker to announce that there is a small problem with the plane. 'we can try to fix it, but we might make this small problem bigger. so we're going to take another plane. so we wait for an hour for the plane#2 to be ready. this guy is a total character, as he proceeds to poke his head into teh cabin and with thumbs raised smile 'just a little bit, it's for your safety' (you have to imagine a greek accent here). this behavior causes me to say 'who is this guy?" outloud. to which the obese lady proceeds to explain that this is the captain of teh plane. 'yes i know, but i mean this guy is not a real person.' thanks lady! during the filght, he names every single island we pass, providing interesting information, like 'this island has great beaches. this island doesnt really have anything." we arrive in santorini, it's beautiful. dinner is followed by drinks with strange locals carla has befriended who provide free shots. i have eben awake for too long. i am awake @ 4. nothing i can do. really hoping i can sleep tonight.