The daily habits of a male human: an observation

First of all, it's a been a really long time (last post was about COVID quarantine in 2020!!) So here is my attempt to return to writing. I initially thought of making this post for my wedding anniversary, but that passed. Then I thought how fitting would it be for Father's Day! But alas, that passed too. So here we are. Last day of June. I have been cohabitating with a man--my partner, legally and practically speaking-- for the last 8 years. Over the this time, as a former ethnographer, I have compiled notes, or observations, if you will, regarding the commoon male behavior. So here they are, in no particular order. Men seem to lack object permanence. Sometime in medical school, during Childhood and Development class, we learned about childhood milestones. Like learning object permanence. Supposed to happen around 9mo I think--the professor who taught the class showed a video of her baby unable to find a ball hidden under the carpet. Well, men must have skipped that milestones because they cannot figure out that objects picked up from a shelf do not, in fact, cease to exist, but can simply be placed in the same spot. I find myself constatnly "losing" items, specifically items that have designated places in the fridge or the pantry because somehow, once used, they end up some place else, rather than back in the designated spots. The toothpaste, for example, is a wandering mystery: instead of being placed in its glass cup on the counter, the toothpaste migrates, twice a day, all across the counter, as if being placed back in its designated resting spot is an impossibility. Ketchup, soy sauce, kitchen items that live on particular shelves or in special drawers end up in the most bizarre places all over the place, again, because once picked up and used, they cease to exist and have to be roomed anew. Men have terrible eyesight and need constant light, lots of light. That must be the only explanation as to why all the lights are constantly left on all over the house. Basement, bathroom, pantry, closet--places that one visits throughout the day, must remain lit, just in case. Just in case we have to come back in the next 3-4 days and be able to see, or find a spot for that bowl we used. Men cannot thermoregulate. So immediately upon entering the house, they must remove all of their outer clothing and discard it exactly where they are, dropped on the floor, discarded on the couch, or bench, but never hung on a hook where other people's jackets live. Because energy expenditure must be preserved, espcially when one is losing energy cooling off one's big and strong body. Men must be ready at all times to take care of their families. That's why the leave tools, tool sets, tool kits immediately accessing to them, and oddly inconveniently placed for everybody else, just in case at some point men may need a wrench to fix something--whatever it may be--emergently and quickly, even if nothing, in this moment in time, is broken. Men, as a species, are very protective of their families and are always looking out for their well-being. That is why they leave traps all over the house, in case of intruders. So that's why when entering one's house, you have to be really careful not to trip over shoes, left in the hallway, or right in front of the door, as a trap for thieves and other bad people who may be trying to enter your house uninvited. And afer a long day caring for and protecting their families, inventing new places for kitchen items, and setting traps with their own shoes, men fall asleep, peacefully, on the couch, right after dinner.