Monday, August 18, 2014

The bridesmaid dress saga


The following saga took place within the last 24h between me and my mother as a text exchange. My friend Beth is getting married (yay!) and invited me to participate (yay!). On Sunday she sent out an email with a few styles she liked and the color she wanted us to wear. For simplicity reasons, let's call it purple. So I go to the bridal store, where I find the required dresses to try on for size. I pick up whatever random color (ended up being navy, white, I mean, excuse me, champaign, and god-awful pink). I am then shepherded around the store by a very animated gay man who refers to me strictly as "Miss Alex honey" at all times, I have a temporary panic attack when I witness something akin to "say yes to the dress", complete with cheering relatives and sees of white, but I successfully try on the dresses and take pictures, which I immediately email to my friend-the bride and my mother for decision making support. My mom replies right away: "I like the white one, but you can really wear white to a wedding?!" "No you cannot, but the dresses are going to be purple" "well since you can't wear white, go with the navy one" " wait, but you said you liked the white one! The colors don't matter it's all purple" "why should it be purple?!" "...because those are the wedding colors. So you like the white one?" "Only if you can pull wearing white to the wedding"... I say nothing more. But the next day, I text her again before making the final purchase: "so should I buy the white one?" "Yes...I just really don't understand how it is going to become purple". This of course was followed by an exclamation of "are you totally crazy?" On my part. And this is why I love my mother.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

fit bits


I recently acquired a fitbit. I debated this purchase for a while, but everyone has one and are so in love, so i finally caved in and got one. i hesitated to get it because i consider myself somewhat active, not like crazy marathon runner active, but you know more than the average american (except maybe in the winter time), so the utility of having a device attached to me that would tell me exactly how active i was seemed, well, redundant. I mean, if i'm running around clinic like a crazy person, do i really need to be reminded that i'm running around like a crazy person? and i've spent the entire day on the couch watching 'sex in the city' reruns in my yoga pants, do i need to be reminded of my lazy-ass behavior? no, times 2. but i think, ultimately, i was curious just how active i am, or how much craziness occurs in one clinic/OR day... the fitbit I got is the one that attaches to your clothing. it is not a wrist band (I can't wear wrist bands when operating), so it's slightly less awesome as it does not track down my sleep patterns. and since it's purchase, i've become quite paranoid about missing steps. getting in and out of the shower is tricky, since once i take it off, i feel bad about moving and taking steps which are no longer being tracked. getting dressed on the other hand has become a stationary activity, with specific items being put on first as to facilitate attachment of fitbit immediately and without delay. and since it's attached to my clothes, i feel like it gives me a certain curious look. as it is usually attached to the inside of my pants, the band people see when i pull on my hospital ID is kind of a mixture between a tiny pager and an insulin pump. so what have i learned? i burn approximately the same number of calories every night, regardless of whether i woke up to go to the bathroom several times (because apparently my bladder is aging) or whether i had half a bottle of wine before going to bed and passed out for the duration of my blissful tipsy sleep. turns out that my tiny apartment is way larger than i thought and at night when i aimlessly wander around picking things up and doing small chores i take quite a few steps. it's almost 50 steps just to get to the toilet! that's almost a work-out! what i've had trouble with is the calorie count. fitbit counts how many calories you've burned (how? i'm not sure), but since it's not smart enough to figure out exactly what and how much you've stuffed into your mouth, you have to manually put those things in. which is a problem, since apparently my diet is way crazy as it does not contain brand name pre-made items. for example, entering fruit is impossible! it gives you a list of 170 items related to the word 'peach' (peaches are in season, i eat a lot of them), from peach smoothies to peach pizza topping to delmonte half sliced frozen peaches. just a plain regular medium sized raw peach does not exist!! same with coffee: coffee apparently only has a caloric count if it's purchased from dunkin donuts or mcdonalds. and you can sort of substitute, i guess, i mean if you're drinking black coffee, i guess it doesnt matter if you're using a brand that is not your actual brand, as long as items and sizes somewhat match. but i personally feel guilty, depriving something like trader joe's string cheese from caloric fame and substituting the totally different sargento's brand. why should TJ's not be recognized in my diet! you can, of course, create your own specialized items, but that becomes too much of a hassle, since essentially every single thing i eat would have to be manually entered. so i just tend to skip that entirely and i'm pretty sure my fitbit thinks i'm starving, daily. the fitbit also clogs my mailbox with weekly counts of how much of done, the distance i've traveled and steps i've taken. like a kindergartner, i get a star when i walk a certain distance, or take a certain number of steps. makes me feel special. i havent lost any weight, but it's nice to know my fitbit loves me and supports me in all my fat-ass lazy glory. :)