Talking politics

This post is actually inspired by a lawyer husband of a colleague. I am no expert in politics, but he asked, so I figured the least i can do is put in my two cents. I'm talking about the situation in Ukraine. It has died down on the news a bit as it is no longer the novelty, but the fighting in its Eastern region remains. A bit of a historical background: Eastern Ukraine is a mining region. It is the industrial part full of coal and other mining minerals (I'd hate to embarrass myself and call it simply 'ore'). And because mining is hard work, dangerous, and pays well (well, better) this region has attracted people from other parts of what used to be the Soviet Union. This means that some people, not all, have not been originally from there, spoke Russian and not Ukrainian, and felt more ties with the Big Brother. This is not to say that Eastern Ukrainians are 'homeless', quite the opposite, many of them have lived there for decades, have settled there as their home (and even going back to the Russian Empire), but its proximity and its industrial strength do attract folks that well, are not farmers and are less tied to the land. Coupled with fear of complete Ukrainianization, this might stir some sentiment. Let me come back to this. This all started over the EU. Actually, this probably all started after people realized that Yanukovich is really a crook (I mean, this was known, but not the extent of it) and enjoys ruling as if he's solely in charge. So the EU commission was holding talks to possibly offer Ukraine EU membership, after numerous reforms and lots of clean up, but at least to consider is already tremendous. This is what people wanted and the President promised that they would proceed with talks. Only to then completely ignore the promise and people's desire and completely halt back (because proceeding with joining the EU would anger Russia, and I will come back to this as well). So people went to the streets. Quietly and peacefully they built the Maidan (Maidan Nezalezhnosti, which in Ukrainian means Independence square, is the main square of Kiev, the capital). People wouldn't disband, they demanded referendums, then presidential re-election, and the president got sick of this and started using force to attempt to forcefully take the people down. This is where I have to make a disclaimer: there are many news sources and the media and the reports that one hears or sees about Ukraine are all very conflicting, especially when one compares Russian against Ukrainian and international sources, so what I'm presenting may not be all correct, but this is what I gather. The clashes with authorities and the police got more and more violent, finally reaching full blown fighting in the streets (feel free to peruse YouTube) and the president finally just ran away (no literally, fled in a helicopter to Russia). His mansion was exposed and turns out he indeed stole a shit ton of money. Where am I going with this? Well, the whole power revolution, then led to a referendum in Crimea. The referendum, however, was preceded by this somewhat silent military take over. This is clue number one: the claim is that Crimeans want to be part of Russia. This is partially motivated by the fact that Crimeans are a diverse group, but largely Russian. This is partially motivated by the fact that in light of violence on Maidan, other sections, and i mean Ukrainian Nationalist sections, also made their presence known and the backlash of nationalism and anti-Russian-ness (because that's what the president used to be) made people scared. Additionally, Ukraine, economically, is not solid, and after years of corruption, has made little progress, so the temptation of economic stability added a lot of fuel to this whole separation. A lot. And I think this fuel is what then fired the other Eastern Ukrainian regions. The promise of better wages and some stability and protection of Big Brother (here, I mean Putin) as well as fear that the crazy Ukrainian nationalists will kill the entire Russian speaking population mobilized some folk. The problem is, it is unclear how much of the civilian Easter Ukrainian population actually wants this. Yes, the news reports from Russia continue to show simple eastern Ukrainian citizens 'just defending their home', but it is hard to understand from what the simple ukrainian citizens defending themselves and their families. Additionally, I'm not sure where a simple citizen can suddenly acquire anti-tank weapons and missile launching equipment. I dont have that in my backyard. Russia swears up and down that they are not involved, but the simple citizens, when interviewed, seem to be from somewhere else (I am referring to allegations here that the majority of eastern Ukrainian fighters are Chechen hires) and the fact that coffins of dead eastern Ukrainian simple citizens for some reason end up crossing the border into Russia, makes it even more suspicious. It remains unclear if Russia is involved. But why would it be? Russia certainly has plenty of gas, coal, and whatever else, so it obviously doesnt need the Ukrainian resources and acquiring them will unlikely make a difference. Likely, Russian interests lie less with actual territory but the idea of Russian influence and maintaining Ukraine in its zone of influence, rather than losing it to the EU (the gas line to Europe does run through Ukraine). The region has less significance than Crimea, which is coveted for its access to sea, but still much power can be gained from de-powering Ukrainian government. And the question of eastern Ukraine wanting its independence is also confusing to me. Why would a tiny little portion of the country seek sovereignty? Is it really plausible that eastern Ukrainians really fear disfranchisement? Yes, the threat of Ukrainian language as the national language is scary if you're predominantly Russian speaking, but I think, it's also valid. Additionally, no one is going to yell at you for speaking Russian and not Ukrainian (trust me, I get away with speaking as much Russian and not Ukrainian as I can, since i'm embarrassed about my Ukrainian accent). Large cities, the capital, and especially the eastern regions remain and will remain russian-speaking, and that's fine. But national documents should be signed in Ukrainian. Maybe the fear of nationalist movement is really strong, but it seems that the main motivation of this revolt is financially driven: Russia promises higher standard of living, higher wages, and higher social security. And it remains unclear how many of the actual eastern Ukrainians are motivated by this to shoot down military helicopters of their own (ukrainian) country with their meager home missile-launchers they have in their garage.

A good listener

Lovely Friday morning. I take a walk to sit at a cafe and enjoy some coffee. There is no one here as it is early, other than this dude. Tall, white, and to use medical terms "well groomed, in no apparent distress". I sit behind him. Behind him! He turns around to first comment on his pastry. Then, breaks into the story...we're sitting by the windows. The windows are open, which means that the traffic outside is preventing me from hearing about two thirds of what he is saying. Not that I care to begin with. I take out a book, my phone, I am fully engaged in my reading materials, something, anything. That apparently is no longer the social sign of "please don't bother me". So I am forced to somewhat politely listen. "Some guy, owns billions, mansion in the north shore, totally screwed me. I worked for him. He took me in, his own family, hyper sexual, you have to be if you have 9 kids. Damn Catholics, the Italians kill everyone, the Greeks want him dead, so do the Italians. What do you do? Oh you're a doctor. That's amazing, but also probably sad at times, you do the best you can. I was victimized, hurt, almost died and all because if this guy." I can't hear anything. "He turned on me, wanted me dead. I'm going to report this, I mean this shit doesn't happen, but it's a like a news story. Shit, reporters can make money of this story. I should do triathlons, I am pretty athletic. I ended up on hands and knees, with all the hospital bills, this was after my first child was born. I mean who does that after their own child is born, promises a house, gives me money and then screws me over." I am trying to write things, not paying attention, doesn't matter. "His own child, raped upstairs as I'm entertaining him in Christmas. Something you have to let go of the pride, pride gets in the way." Truck outside, bus outside, I'm literally mimicking his own animation because I can't hear. "But I mean he tried to kill me. I like to sell cars. They think I'm in Maine. I worked my way back, worked part time and all, marketing and sales. You can sell cars on eBay. The power of the internet. Man, I really like Gold Coast, you can drive this beautiful convertible." Make it stop! "And the police won't do anything about this guy, I mean when I went to them, they arrested me. I am a victim of police brutality, I was hand-cuffed!!" I can feel my own anxiety building up, this is terribly socially awkward. "I love that area by the united center. Are you a Blackhawks fan? Yeah it's nice, I wonder how many people go missing in Chicago." I take out my iPad and start typing what he's saying. "You know how they killed people, these Italians? All these meat factories. I mean, who comes out in the middle of night driving a truck and wearing latex gloves. And they take the gloves off afterwards. Look at that beautiful machine!" There is a guy who sits at the table next to us and keeps shooting me confused looks. Yes, thank you, super weird! "My own mother died. And I don't want him hurting me. But they're going to kill him, they are. They think I'm in Maine." I can't just get up and leave right? I haven't even finished my coffee! Oh my god make it stop! "I made all this money with suction cups, you wouldn't leave your family would you? I mean they drugged this girl, seizures, she's been misdiagnosed, they're all liable! I want to go to Greece, maybe next year, and visit that place where "300" happened. Sick asshole, his own fucking blood line!" What about me screams 'talk to me'?? What is happening?? "Man, look at this cheesecake, looks just like the picture. I biked all the way down California, and all I could feel was like those boys in Iraq, like someone is going to shoot at you. I mean it is crazy, this lady came to my house, searching, and I knew she came back again the next day, just went around the other way. I mean, she is a sexual predator." I can't see the tv screen from this angle, but apparently me looking back and forth for the screen is not an indication to stop talking, why won't he stop talking?? This is what Asperger's must feel like: complete and total social anxiety. "I'm going to get a bird, I think I should get a bird, a talking bird. Are you Greek? I'm English and French. The French are great ice skaters. I felt like I was in a different country because of their accents, it was the most bizarre thing I've seen in my life." Why won't he leave?? How do I get out of this tangential ramble?? "I think I'm going to buy a hat today. They didn't want us to win, they called offsides but we should have won the cup again. You don't see any arcades anymore. Wouldn't it be fun to see pinball in Greektown? I mean, my life is really fucked, don't you think it's fucked?? If you're ever wheezing, go to navy pier, to the botanical gardens, to escape the smog. Fireworks are on Wednesday. Maine is beautiful. It's all about inheritance nowadays, it's Betty Davis' last movie, and that's hard to do with a small hook like that. Well, thanks for listening." And just like that, he's gone. Gone. So much for quiet coffee. Sent from my iPad

the first rule of fight club is we dont talk about fight club

The first rule of fight club is we don't talk about fight club. So I guess i'm going to break the rule. In a few days I graduate from my Ob/Gyn residency. It's been a long 4 years, and at the end of it all, instead of excitement, I am more anxious than anything. For those of you who know me well, I dont normally talk about my feelings, so let me try. You can't really describe residency: this is something you have to live through. My own mother, to this day, cannot get my schedule or my call straight. She continues to refer to Maternal Fetal Medicine or high risk OB as pathology of pregnancy. And residencies, in general, are hard, and Ob/Gyn is one of the hardest residencies. I say this not to be arrogant, or dismiss how hard others work, but simply to point out that if for some reason I have failed to keep in touch, pay my bills on time, or do the dishes, it's because i've been involved in what can only be described as slave labor. For the past 4 years, I have worked for less than minimum wage, mainly, because for the past 4 years, i have worked on average 80hrs/wk and if you divide out my wages (and subtract the student loans) i would have been better off working at McDonalds. For the past 4 years, I have learned to go without sleep, food, or bathroom breaks. I have learned that a crash csection when you've been at work for 22 hours is not so bad, as the adrenaline totally wakes you up so that you can then go and round on your unsuspected cancer patient. I have learned that if you stop drinking water, your dehydrated body no longer produces urine, and the additional sweat you produce while retracting someone's pannus, guarantees that your bladder doesnt explode. i have learned that a cup of coffee is just as good as, if not better than, a sandwich adn the crackers you find to feed your patients are not dry but tasty and delicious. Obviously i'm exaggerating...sort of. What made it possible was the fact that i enjoy what i do and the fact that i was part of a resident family. Not sleeping through the night was easier when you threw a dance part on L&D in the middle of the night. Seeing a useless consult was easy because you got to bitch about it and complain about other services (please stop officially consulting us about normal menstrual cycles). Clinic and non-compliant, ueber-late patients ran faster because someone brought snacks. There was camaraderie and structure in misery. i dont like change, and the idea of lack of structure (and the addition of free time) freaks me out a bit. the idea of losing the company of a family, equally tired and over-caffeinated resident family, makes me not want to leave and just show up to work on monday. In reality, residency wasnt so bad. surviving residency, emerging from its trenches is rewarding in the skills i acquired in this emerging process, but more importantly, it's knowing that 7 of us survived together, sometimes bitter and whiny, a little sweaty and definitely a little sleepy, makes it ok to celebrate. Cheers!