subway, version 2.0

so more on the subway. i ride the subway a lot and have a lot of time to observe adn note.
moscow subway has a ton of lines, i mean, lines for trains, like the blue line, the red line..you get it, right? they have proper names, whihc i think are technically supposed to reflect the end stations, or places where these lines go to and from. i have not found any such correlation, and the names themselves are super-long, hyphenated, and very confusing. the lines are also color-coded, which is easier. but because there are so many lines, the colors get tricky. there are 2 yellows, 2 greens, 3 blues, and 3 reds, among other colors. i have no idea how men navigate the subway. with their limited color perception, i feel like it's really easy to confuse scarlet red with magenta with pink. or light and dark yellow, or sea foam blue with just blue (not to be confused with light blue). yesterday, we were switching lines, and i knew we were looking for blue, regular blue, but then i saw what in aritificial light and mass-produced paint looked like blue. jonbek yelled, saying this was the wrong line. i looked up to ascertain taht what i saw was indeed sea foam blue, and i that's when i was hit. from the right. some guy literally ran into me in a stream of people walking perpendicular to my stream of people. my right shoulder faired ok, but the right knee got kneed right above LCL, it hurt. he was just as shocked as i was, running into me because he stopped apologizing profusely.
people read on the train, which seems like an ok things to do if you have a long way to go and are sitting down. it becomes a problem when you're standing in a crowd of people, or even worse walking, or rather being carried in a sea of people. i swear, sometimes the crowds aer so large and dense, i feel like i could lift my feet and just travel with the flow. it's annoying when everyone is trying to merge into the stupid escalator, people pushing and shoving, and you see some chick just reading a book. as if putting it down for a second to walk like a normal human will ruin the zen moment. reading is so popular people carry these tablets, which i'm sure have books downloaded onto them. and like moses with ten commandments coming down from the mountain, these people try to brave the sea of people, who, unlike the red sea, fail to spread.
in addition to station announcements, russian subways have standard announecements. at every stop they remind you to be mutually-respectful (as if just respectful is not enough) and give up your seat for the elders, passengers with children, handicapped, and pregnant ladies. they also remind you, all the time, to please, not leave your things on teh train. one would think that russians are frivolously forgetful adn just leave their belonging on the train, always. maybe this is meant for the guys, to hold on to their purses.
every station, i swear, has kiosks that sell thongs and pantyhose (because god knows, everyone in this country wears pnatyhose, probably, including men). i think i'd like to buy myself a thong from one of thesekiosks as a souvenir. the important things will be, a)find the right size, b)not catch gonorrhea from the sketchy subway underwear.