coming out

It's been a while. i realize the blog often relates strictly to travel and it should not, or rather...i've been thinking about this for a while. as many of you know i am in a fellowship. a family planning fellowship, which in and of itself is a bit controversial. family planning, for those who dont know, refers to contraception and abortion services. as such, i am a trained contraceptive expert and an abortion provider. and while i love what i do, what i do is controversial.
i take care of women every day. i take care of women who are young and old, pregnant and not, but mostly, or at least in this particular time in my life, i take care of women who are needing to terminate their pregnancy. there is no singular reason for it: some women are really sick, some are facing a pregnancy complicated with terrible abnormalities in the fetus, such abnormalities that would condemn this future child to medical problems, surgeries, and likely stifled and diminished existence. for some women, the time is not right to become a parent. i provide care, a legal procedure, that is safe for them. for this, however, my colleagues and i are frequently ostracized, victimized, threatened.
i wanted to write about my experiences, experiences of my friends, who face protestors and threats of violence for them and their clinical staff. i wanted to write about the need i feel to speak up, and just lie about what i do, not to hide this abortion talk amidst some polite bullshit about how i do research (ok, i also do research, but you get the point). but i think, instead, it is important to focus on my patients. they are women, just like you and me. sometimes they are young, sometimes they are older. many have kids, and many choose to seek abortion services out of love, both for their existing children, and for their unborn fetuses. many struggle financially, scrape just enough money to cover this procedure. for many, by the time they find enough money, figure out how to leave work, and arrange child-care, they are further along in their pregnancy and the money they've got is not enough. many travel from far away. illinois happens to have less strict laws surrounding abortion care, so women travel from out of state--ohio, kentucky, wisconsin--to obtain a procedure that is actually legal federally and in all states. many have to leave their kids, with strangers, just to make it over for their procedure. many are single mothers, many have loving and caring partners and are making this decision with their love and support. many are brought in by their parents or sisters, or older women who have been through the same thing (did you know that one in 4 women has an abortion?)
for many, this is a hard decision. many cry, many are scared. and i hold their hand and tell them it will be ok, because it will be. but regardless, my patients are making a decision that they are sure of, that is right for them, and that is the right guaranteed to them by the constitution. i dont want to get political here. the point of this coming out story is to share, with my friends who may not know, and to speak up on behalf of my patients and my colleagues, against violence and stigma that often surrounds the medical work that i do.