First, there are the daily notifications: new listings popping up on the market, like new matches. So of course, like a Pavlovian dog, you log in, throughout the day, scroll through the profile, look at pictures, contemplate--do you make a move? should you respond in any way, show your interest? you scroll through pictures, wondering if the property or prospective bachelor really looks like that in real life. Is this an old photo and the dude is now fatter and balder? is this picture taken in some unnatural light that makes the rooms appear bigger and the wrinkles less noticeable? you judge: why would anyone paint their bathroom that atrocious purple, why would anyone choose to post a picture of themselves with other chicks!?
second, you must consider other details, like location, amenities. you want your new place to be in a neighborhood not too far from your current one, you also want your prospective relationship to not live in the suburbs, thereby making the morning drive after a sleep-over ever so painful. alternatively, you you would never want to date a neighbor!! you hope your new place comes with parking spot of some sort, you hope your match has a cool job, any kind of a job that keeps him employed.
third, there are open house, like first dates--awkward, quick, sometimes leaving you wanting to dash as quickly as you get there. Yes, the pictures were staged and this property is way smaller than it appeared; yes, the pictures WERE taken from a weird angle and the guy is barely taller than you. the property in the online profile seemed modern and well maintained; the match in his online profile seemed interesting and funny, and the more you hang out at the property and on the date, you realize that he is, in fact, dull and not at all shiny. and then you feel sad about wasting yet another perfectly sunny saturday at lame open houses, or yet another evening on a shitty date. after a while, you've seen so many places and have met or communicated with, well, some number of guys, they all become known by some code-name: duplex #1, huge kitchen, yellow bathroom, the engineer, grey sweater, great conversation.
now, if you actually like a dude, or a property, you start deliberating. did you like it enough to live there? can you imagine actually being with this person? because nothing and no one is perfect, you start wondering if you can compromise. maybe the location is not perfect, but the view is amazing. maybe he is not as attractive, but the conversation is great. are you tired enough of the open houses, of wasted time, of constant search through pictures and profiles that you're just willing to settle into something so you can stop looking already? maybe you'll be just fine living on a street away from civilization, maybe you'll be fine with a bedroom without natural light; maybe you'll have a great time with the balding dude or the one who talks about his mother.... and somehow, all these things you never thought were important, things that you for sure can overlook and have overlooked in the past, suddenly become these great hang-ups. yes, you actually do care about receding hairlines!! you really do care about natural light, or third-floor walk-ups, or inside parking that you'd rather remain homeless. and then you realize when you're paying this much, you probably should not settle. and you remember 'sex and the city" and you continue logging in to see if new matches to your search have popped up in the last 10 minutes.
"some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."
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