tale of two clinics

Welcome to private REI (that's reproductive endocrinology and infertility, ya'll) clinic "Oberig"! here things are organized. there is a receptionist, there is an appointment list, patients are seen according to their appointment times. for some reason i am required to place booties over my shoes, remove my coat. i meet the guy who runs the clinic. he talks about a mile a minute and exhibits minor ADHD tendencies. he works fast, clinic appointments are brief, in and out, everyone gets an US. upstairs, there is a small OR, recovery room and labs for genetics testing, fertilization, embryo transfers, cryo--whatever the hell you want. it's kinda awesome. back to the city hospital. every morning i make my way to work. i take the speed tram (cause it's impossible to fit into city buses) and walk (uphill) for about 10min, not bad. at the tram stop you have the options of exiting the tram and walking back to overhead pass to get to the other side, or you can walk forward and getting to the end of the platform, climb down to the tracks and walk along tracks until the fence ends (cause there is a fence that prevents people from, you know, walking on tracks and dying). i follow the crowd and climb onto tracks, you have to walk fast, or flatten yourself against the fence to dodge the oncoming trams. work by the way starts at 830am, luxury if you ask me. the interns (aka 'residents') are allowed to miss rounds, which are at 830 sharp. this is when the charge nurse reports to the head of the floor (ie head attending) how many admissions there are, who went home yesterday, how many people are currently in-house. after that, everyone catches up on charting, waiting for cases. this is, again, interrupted by patients coming in to ask questions about whatever it is they want, or random other outside patients who need to be seen. actual morning rounds are deferred until after patients have had their breakfast, this appears to be very important for patient care. i'm sort of used to watching women just hang out in lithotomy for a while, in a common room, with others in the room, this does not appear to be awkward for the patient. i change in a tiny closet, its handle falls off, so i frequently have a panicked feeling thinking i am now locked in a tiny closet because i cant get the door to open without a handle. then, i sit on the couch waiting for someone to tell me about an exciting procedure. people feed me coffee, and attempt to feed me snacks and other things. they ask many questions about the american medical system, sometimes i get very generalized questions like "so is everything better there?" to which i'm not sure how to respond, other than with 'yea sorta'. the OR equipment is a bit prehistoric, like the laparoscopy and hysteroscopy tools. there is only one screen, the fluid pressure for the hysteroscope is applied directly by squeezing the bag, as the fluid machine is 'under maintenance'. the drapes are flimsy and are not quite the OR drapes (but hey at least they exist). apparently, i caused quite a raucus by scaring the crap out of all the janitors with my Dansko's: they were shocked by my wearing such 'boots' into the OR. everyone else, you see, wears sandals, no socks. not sure how my OR Danskos are dirtier than people's feet..but whatever. speaking of exciting procedure. many women are undergoing leech therapy. it is used for fibroids, endometriosis, infertility. in essense, leeches are applied to the vaginal walls...to, you know do their thing, while the owner of said vaginal wall hangs out in lithotomy, facing the window. you get five total treatments in a series, one a day. for this you are hospitalized. usually, two leeches are applied at a time. they are kept in individual jars, and discarded into communal leech jar afterwards. it is strange, i have yet to see evidence for this. but it seems very popular as it is one of the reasons why people remain inpatient in the hospital. in terms of remaining inpatient, there appears to be an issue with the upcoming elections. apparently, since some people will remain in the hospital, there is a chance they might miss the sunday elections. so some officially designated electorate lady went around the ward signing people up to vote and collecting their IDs. if you have done this, you can now vote in the hospital, while inpatients...you however, may not be discharged home, if you need to be before sunday, before you lack your ID papers. if you happened to register to vote prior to presenting to the hospital. you immediately need to be discharged, regardless of what is happening to you medically, by sunday, so you can participate in the elections. i will talk about elections later.