Aimlessness

I'm sitting in a cafe, staring at a couple, likely on a date (unlikely couple, though). There is a sign on the door that reads "stuff only", no stuff is not allowed, apparently...I think they mean staff. Clinic was weird. First, a lady shows up wanting a survey. Are you here for a doctor visit? No. I'm sorry I'm afraid I cannot let you fill one out. She starts crying, she came here just to fill out the survey. Then she sits down and for the next hour proceeds to tell me her story. She has a really bad knee, it hurts all the the time. She had a stroke, finally recovered but had to go back to Kyrgyzstan becaus she couldn't afford to pay. She cleans a pharmacy, every morning and evening. She is supposed to get paid 5000rubles, but it's been 5 months, and since her knee hurts and she has no money, she takes meds from the pharmacy and they credit her, so now she is only supposed to get paid 1700rubles, but it's been 5 months. She lives with her son and his wife who is a bitch! Wo refuses to work. And all she does is go from doctor to doctor with her knee. She cries all the time. She asks me to look at her knee. Bt I'm not a knee doctor. But it hurts, so she rolls up her pants. I feel her swollen arthritic knee, it's pretty bad. Then, she tells me that she feels better, just after talking it out. She asks me if I can come for tea. No thanks. After the patient focus group, everyone wants to know where they can come see me. I don't work in this clinic. CAn we call you? Are you really going to call America?! Apparently, I have a patient base. Then, I wander the clinic talking to providers. The gyne lady, ethnically Russian, is seemingly angry. She complains of language barrier with her patients who speak poor Russian. I guess your Kyrgyz is not totally proficient, I joke. She doesn't get it and launches into a rant about how she does NOT speak kyrgyz or Tajik or Uzbek. I feel bad, do I sound like that when I say I don't speak Spanish?! Then, I talk to the surgeon. He can do small procedures, like what? I&d, everything else we "treat conservatively". Now i feel like a poser. Here I am some American asshole with nebulous research plans about HIV prevention, when physicians, my colleagues, cannot treat their patients because they lack basic tools. This guy, who is a surgeon and cuts people for a living, has to treat them conservatively because he doesn't have an OR or anesthesiologist. I'm ready to leave. I decide to go walk around the city. Except this is probably the worst day, as it is raining. After I have a tiny little orgasm in the lingerie store, I was outside to find a little old man, dressed in a winter coat and pajamas, begging for money. He looks completely put together, not crazy or homeless, just bent over from age-kyphosis, on the main street filled with designer stores. I feel terrible, and not just because it's raining on me. On to red square. To warm up, I walk into GUM- the biggest and most famous shopping center from soviet time, now filled with ferragamo and cavalli boutiques. I have been awake since 6, I havent eaten, drunk, or peed today. My hugely American north face is wet and I'm wearing dansko's--I look positively homeless. I do not fit in among the trendiness, I'm surprised I don't get arrested. Wndering aimlessly through the streets and cursing the wind that keeps flipping my umbrella over, I think I'm ready t go home. It's sad that I didn't get to hang out in Moscow at all. Seems like I've done nothing at all.